plans change

THE PLAN

My job hired me at the end of October. My first day on the job was the busiest, it has become slower every day. Sometimes I would just walk around downtown dropping off invoices which could easily have been mailed out. They hired me when they didn't really need anyone and they were paying my a salary of 30,000 a year. I knew that they were going to have to let me go eventually, I was hoping it would have been closer to May, because that is around when Kristina and I are going to Europe.

I would be able to take a short vacation before the real vacation and collect unemployment while I am in Europe. And I could just cut my expenses during the period between being let go from my job and when I leave the country.

REALITY

I was let go "due to restructuring" on Wednesday. I knew it was coming long before it came. This is actually a blessing though, I went straight to the unemployment office after work. I made a list of things I need to do, including cutting expenses, getting on food stamps. I need to sell my car too, and now I have no excuse! If I am able to sell it for at least 3000 dollar then I will still be able to meet my 2009 resolution of paying off my debt.

NEW PLAN

I am going to enjoy this time off, unlike last time I was fired (378 days before). I am going to definitely collect unemployment this time, because I was not fired for something I did, I was let go due to restructuring. I am going to find new sources of income that I won't have to declare. I am considering selling some of my old CD's and records because they just sit there going unlistened to, but I think I might regret that someday.

I am going to try doing simple work online for amazon.com in order to pay for internet and a new phone (my work phone was obviously taken away from me). I also want to explore the option of selling stuffed animals online. I am also going to enjoy not waking up at 7:30am 5 days a week. I will enjoy the Wii my brother let me borrow.

One bad thing about that job is I was being forced to dress a certain way, shave, comb my hair a certain way, look normal, clothes must not be stylish in anyway. It was turning me into a person I do not want to be and I am glad that I have moved on from that place. I can wear tennis shoes and orange heart bracelets and whatever else I want.

Maybe it is wrong to collect unemployment when I could easily get a job if I just tried. Perhaps I should not be using food stamps when I could afford food if I just worked. Most of the arguments against this that I have come up with are fallacies: the government spends half our taxes on bombs, this world is messed up and I shouldn't have to work 40 hours a week, if I don't collect some fatcat will collect it instead, the deficit is in the trillions and will continue to be in the trillions until the US government collapses. Really none of these arguments address the fact that I am taking money from a fund which is designed to help those who need the money, when I do not in fact need the money. I don't feel bad though.

Mario

Today I drove the company van to Astoria, Oregon. Astoria is a small port town about 2 hours drive from portland. The drive is very beautiful and has many interesting things including bridges, many rivers to drive nearby, creeks, swamps, farms, and other things too.

The drive was very nice and now I'm back at work which is not so nice. I ate a cheese and fake turkey sandwich while I drove, I also listened to my ipod and sang real loud while driving. I prefer the car radio over the ipod but this radio had no reception and I don't like the radio songs anyway.

My grandmother (aka nanny) sent me some soft pajama type shirt and a check for 30 bucks which I used to buy the board game Pente. The game is fun, but got sort of boring after a little while. I think it would be more fun with more people.

Sean let me borrow his Wii, I have been playing Mario Kart trying to get all of the trophies in order to unlock extra characters and cars. I always play as toad on a bike. The courses are so fun and cute...such an improvement over the last Mario I played.

you

Kristina and i are working through our problems. We both want to be together and still move in together. We spent friday night, saturday and sunday playing wii, talking, eating, grocery shopping, watching football with jeremys new baby, watched harry potter leafed out. I went to bretts work and had a pretzel and some apple cider. Then we went to seans house for some hanging and played some crusader game. We also all hung out friday night and rearranged my house. It looks really good now. I also hung a bunch of stuff from the ceiling with kristina. Some origami animals, the scarfed octopus of yarn which harper made for me, and some cubed paper things.

This weekend has put a lot of things in perspective and i feel really good about everything.

2009 resolutions

last time i was at the grocery store i saw some sweet potatoes and i decided i wanted to try making some mashed sweet potatoes. i once tasted a dish from this soul food/ethiopian place in portland that i remembered really liking. it tasted almost like maple syrup mashed potatoes.

last night i made them, a little brown sugar and a tiny bit of syrup went into 4 giant mashed sweet potatoes with a little fake butter and some salt. it was okay but not great and a little weird. i made way too much and kristina didn't really like it so i decided that it would probably go bad and be thrown out but we went to a viewing of 2001: a space odyssey at this place called the doll house, which is just a house where some friends live who own a projector.

they were all pretty high so they ate it all up, they were also watching the 1998 x files movie instead of 2001 when we got there, but they changed that soon after. it was kind of boring but also kind of fun. i drank one shot of tequila and drank a miller high life which was kinda gross. but im not sure if it was gross because of my perception of that beverage or if it really is gross. i might have made up my mind about that beer when i read that it was a union made beer/champagne of beers. oh well!

my new years resolution this year is to pay off my credit card debt and save money for europe this summer. my credit card debt was up to 4300 but not it is down to 3800 and if i continue putting 200 dollars from every paycheck toward it as well as stop using it completely i will have it fully paid off by the end of the year. i feel this is a good goal because i have been doing it and i know i can continue to do it. the savings part is the same, i am putting 200 a paycheck into a savings account.

my other resolution is to be more adventurous and try to break my routine as much as possible. this will be very difficult but making that sweet mashed potato was a start and it will continue!

Collected thoughts

I am currently at work on a lunch break. I got back from Las Vegas last night and the cab ride home was nice. The man did not ever speak to us...I almost offered him a Snickers fun size but I thought he might think it was poisoned so, to show him it was not poisoned, I offered in to Kristina first....she took it and ate it.

We got home and it was nice to be back but someone....probably Sean.....left the light on! My attempt to not use any power while I was gone backfired, despite unplugging every single thing I own. Oh well.

I put all my clothes and stuff away and we made some macaroni and cheese with fake meat....mostly Kristina made it, I just sat on the bed and ironed my work clothes for today.

R. Kelly makes the best sex music I have ever heard....I want to listen to more of his stuff, all I have is the newest album, a few excellent singles and his terrible, with the exception of I Believe I Can Fly, best of.

I tried dueting that Space Jam theme song with Kristina in Las Vegas when we did karaoke but it didn't go over so well...

A list of songs that did not go over so well:

This is How we do it - Montell Jordan
Let's Stay together - Al green
many more that I have blocked out

Songs that went over well:

Here, there, and everywhere - beatles
creep - radiohead
gettin' jiggy with it - big willy style will smith
say it ain't so - weezer
a few others i cant recall!

Speaking of karaoke, I don't think I ever want to go to a karaoke bar again...the little private booths are SO much better. You don't have to listen to idiots you don't know singing songs you don't want to hear...you get to just listen to your own friends sing. I prefer this way.

Today on the bus i began writing down some questions I would like to explore dealing with our perception of reality. I think its such an interesting topic!

So my girlfriend lives in the dorms. Right now I am sitting in the dark while her roommate sleeps. Kristina (my gf) is getting some food for us to eat. I must stay here hiding, because I am not allowed to be here after midnight. I hope they don't see her carrying enough food for 2 and think she is harboring a non student.

Her roommate is not actually sleeping yet, but neither of us are speaking and she abruptly turned the lights off and here I am. I'm glad I never had to live in the dormitories in school.

my boss has a man who has sent her many a gift through the mail. wine, large stuffed animals, flowers, etc.

he flew from new york to portland to see her. he came to our office today to see her. my boss purposely spent the entire hour and a half that he was here on the phone so that she wouldn't have to talk to him. (she normally drops all work when a guest is in). he sat in an empty office, at a computer, waiting for her to get off the phone.

finally he just got up and left. i feel bad for him. she is such a mean person.